If I ruled the world.

lyrically speaking

was losing all my friends,
was losing them to drinking and to driving.
was losing all my friends,
but i got em back (?)
i am on the mend,
at least now i can say that i'm trying...
but i hope you will forget things i still lack.

Look and see the sky turn red
Like blood it covers over me
and soon the sea shall give up her dead
We'll raise an empire from the bottom of the sea

i'm sorry for thinking,
sorry for what's been said,
i watched them all,
while they burned it down

i am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains sunk below the sea, i spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they all could mean.


it would be easier if it all really was a fever-induced dream. then i could do this all over. i could get roaring drunk at formal. i could not have taken my keys at fran's birthday. i could not have done what i did at the bar. i could have kept my hand off the phone on tuesday night. but it wasn't a dream. and my heart keeps beating unbelievably fast like something big is going to happen and i'm just waiting. and my brain is thirsty for a drink.

maybe i am an alcoholic then, because i don't know how to do what i want to do without it. but i think i can't be, because i purposely don't replenish my stash because i know what i'll do. summertime i was slightly. i had no shame. beer runs always.

damn. this year is almost over. woohah. 2007...don't be a bastard.

and i'll try my best to control myself.

fuckin things have to be so fucking hard. i wish i could tell you what i'm thinking.

i wish i could save the world but i keep fucking up.

if i could i would shrink myself, sink through your skin to your blood cells. remove whatever makes you hurt, but i am too weak to be your cure.