Try.

So today, I woke up early and registered FOREVERRRRRRR, ask Dcruz. hah. Fuckin drivin me crazy still...

So, my days are like this, SO FAR:

Monday:
9-10 STATS (SFSU)
10-12 REC (SFSU)
1:30-5something PHYSICS (De Anza)

Tuesday:
8-925 Chemistry with dcruz by ultimatum (SFSU)
130-230 Physics (De Anza)

Wednesday:
9-12 SFSU
130-230 Physics (De Anza)

Thursday:
8-925 Chem (SFSU)
130-230 Physics (De Anza)

Friday:
9-10 Stats (SFSU)

Well that's 14 classes. And I don't know if I wanna add Bio night class at De Anza...I think that's MW? 5-8? I dunno...

SUICIDEEEE. I told my Pops today about my plan, and he started interrogating me...I don't think he thinks I can do it. He probably thinks I'm wasting time or wasting money, even though doing this is SAVING time and money, at my expense of course. But now I just need to prove myself. PROVE MYSELF...Vanessa, you need to prove yourself. Story of my life! Everyfuckinday to everyone. How much I love them, how much I care, what I'll do...everyone. And that's just what has to be done.

Work was good because I had three doubleshots today before it, one with Noemi, two before school. Doubleshots of espresso fools. Not alcohol in case you thought that. But yeah, I was shaky and hella talkative at work. I volunteerily did work that I otherwise would have slacked off on, but I really didn't feel like walking around the floor for 7 hours. So yes. And got to bond with coworkers, which is cool because I've been kinda anti-social this last week. Today, I said fuck it and...fucked it? hahaha...ew. AGH cute boy at work. AGH.

Closed early yay! The entire drive home I spent talking to Ana hahaha, being called a bitch and calling her a nigger. I love my prima and I'm sorry to disappoint her because I'm not feelin like a sexy piece of drunk slut tonight. hahaha...

Now I'm home. Going to Vacaville tomorrow to visit my Tita. =) God, be good to us all...

I believe I've been up too long and all that shit last week was caused by lack of sleep and stress. But you know what's cool? I studied for my test today and I don't think I failed. The prospect of school is making me anticipate the challenge with clenched fists, which means I will knock that sucker out. Which means I won't be in college forever. Which means I can get out of here and start my life. Which means I can finally...FINALLY...prove myself to my family. You know what else is cool?

I think I can do it. You know why?

Because I'm in fuck it mode. So fuck it. Fuck the skeptics and the doubt. My vision has been clouded too long.