Dreamy.

AGH. Tired. I think I could sleep a whole weekend through if you gave me the opportunity. Betcha. Like today, I couldn't get myself to wake up, through the text messages, through the alarm, through the heat, I kept going back to sleep. AGH.

Well...It's July 24th. Happy Birthday Mom! Again, I know you'll never read this...let's take it back to Sunday, July 24th, 2005, shall we? I know I can't write anything to top this because I'm too tired right now and I'm kind of uninspired when writing's concerned, so here...encore. But maybe I'll fix the stuff I don't like hahaha...

Here's to the woman who will never read this, and who will never know more than I can express, and I don't express much at all.

Here's to the woman who makes the worst jokes at the worst occassions, but she's just trying to make the situation funny. We get it, but sometimes, we're like MOM. NO.

Here's to the woman who moves furniture while we're gone, only to come home and the whole house is rearranged, she carried them even after she got her surgery, maybe that's why she kept bleeding.

Here's to the alarm going off at 4:30 in the morning. Waking up to see the woman getting ready for work.

Here's to the woman who buys McDonald's like it's a cure for sadness on a rainy day. Trying to cheer her kids up one french fry at a time, but it's no problem to me, because I only remember the days mom and I went to go run errands all day and when it came to lunch and she was too busy to cook, she'd bring us to eat those french fries.

Here's to the woman who is faithful to her husband. Loving each other for all these years. Both of them watching each other lie in a hospital bed for several days, all this happening within a few months of each other.

Here's to the woman I call my mother, the one I used to scorn when I didn't feel like living, but I realized that hurt her to know she couldn't keep us happy. And how was it her fault that she gave birth to a brat? Or that the brat didn't want to live.

Here's to the woman who cares too much, overcares, if you will. And maybe she doesn't care enough about the world, but she cares too much about her world. Of course not necessarily a bad thing. Because this is the world that keeps her feet hurting day after day, and makes her brothers and sisters go through shit.

Here's to the woman who is smiles nervously. Most of the time I see her. Like when I come home from the city on weekends with new stories of my adventures. Half smiles, half concern.

Here's to the woman that is my mother. The one I was born to, and I didn't have a choice, but I have a feeling if I had the choice I'd still pick her. But I'd be better behaved. Here's to her on her birthday, we still haven't found the perfect present, and of course, they will get bigger and better, but perfect? Will we ever find it...won't stop till we drop. Maybe the perfect present to get her is the life she wants. The one where she doesn't have to come home from 12 hour days with an absent mind and sore feet. My sister and I are workin on it.

Happy birthday, mom.
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Today at work was cool...well kinda. Longest four hours ever. Didn't really do much of anything. Just walk around. Make things look like I cared to clean. I like my coworkers, they're cool. I just have to strain my neck to look up to them, which makes me feel kinda nervous. Haha...it's funny though. They hella stop working out of nowhere just to talk. And we just talk. Like one girl, she's really into music, even more than I am, so when she talks about the bands she likes I just feel like I've been living in the dark or something. And this guy he just tells me to slack off at my own will haha. One dude is a geeky dude who thinks he knows everything and gives me a bad vibe. Another girl is quiet, new. One big football player guy. One new guy I only met once who is leaving in a week for a better job. And my manager freaks me out because he is really pushing us to sell these Replacement Plans. And the supervisor is cool but she's like an energizer bunny with a built in charger. Yeah...it's weird. Plus all the other people...like this guy threw a pretzel at me and said Hi, and then later when I was just putting shit away he came over to me and played the air guitar. And then this Filipino dude with his Filipino tattoos always comes and tries to chat with me. And he always questions my mannerisms. Haha...fuckin a. Madhouse. One day when I feel like giving a shit, I'll just surprise them. But right now, I feel more like a piece of shit than giving a shit.

Well. I should get started with my sleep. Today actually, I woke up at 6 something and then went back to sleep. Then when I woke up again I just couldn't really get up. Funny how that happens. i guess just as there is a window of opportunity to sleep, there's one to wake up. Hah. UHM. Well I'm gonna sleep. Goodnight.