Don't run.

Just walk.

Fuck it was hot today. Hella wanted to go swimming, but everything was so expensive--even goggles. yeah, goggles because I can't swim with contacts. Oh well...but. I did buy a swimsuit top, haha yeah just the top because there was no matching bottom, BUT, the plan is to kill the gut before I can wear it. See, I care. And see, I own 1/2 of a bathing suit. hahaha...I have board shorts, does that count? So that's like...1/2 + 1...extra credit sort of thing.

Yee. I can't remember what I did yesterday. Uhhh...oh went to go buy pants. Fuckin gained 2 inches around my waist! =( I'm crying. Maybe the tears that leave will make me lighter. Haha...but yeah. Fuck! Well, so now I feel really insecure and it don't help I think I'mma be on my rag in a week maybe. OY.

Well last night I had this weird feeling. I think I've written about it before. It's like some unsettling feeling. Like something's off...something bad is going to happen. Haven't had that feeling in a long time, and adding the fact that my parents are so far made me more paranoid. So like I was doing laundry hella late and my cousin asked me to pick him up at like 1 in the morning, so I went to his house and he's like "you wanna hear a ghost story?" OMG. Well, I made him not tell me because I was so on edge already. Hah. To think of all the nights I pulled into my driveway all alone, or slept on the couch overnight, or walked around in the pitch black...one night I'm just thrown off, and I don't know why. He told me today what it was. Yeah I don't really fuckin believe him. It's some sixth sense shit. BLAH BLAH. Chyea, then I had to sleep in my ma and pa's room because my cousin took my room, and I was kinda scared because the master bedroom is hella big and I was afraid if I opened my eyes someone would be staring at me from the closet or something hella scary like that. I dunno...I have weird senses sometimes. I don't even know why...

Work today. So I was pretty dead because I didn't get much sleep last night. I was hella tired. They weren't even expecting me. Hah. I guess they forgot to put me on the schedule or at least tell the Media supervisor. But yeah, fuckin MEDIA IS HUGE! Like two times FYE. Geez. Well, I told her that I realized that shifting when there's overstock or if shit's out of place would be a BITCH. Yeah. But yeah, did my shit. Easy. The fuckin employee lounge is like...a superbowl party room. Haha, there's videogames, leather couches, a HUGE bigscreen TV...satellite tv...dang. I'll be cool to live in there. Hah. Next work Wednesday and Thursday afternoon to close and Saturday 12-4. Uhm, I wish I didn't make my schedule so open. I don't want to close...that's a mess.

Well...the people are cool. I'm hella awkward though. thinkin maybe I'll get less awkward, or maybe I should just have a few beers before my shift...

To the city tomorrow! Hah! Well I miss Frannypants, it's been hella long...and I need to get my stuff. Moving out slowly. Because if I move too fast I'll lose.

I hate losing.

I forgot to water the grass today. Hella tired. Gonna sleep soon. AGH. I think I'll do some crunches...GOODNIGHT!