Have one, have twenty more "one more"s

The good times are killin me.

As much as it runs in my blood, I don't think I'll ever become an alcoholic. It just don't seem fun when I'm alone and I'm sure I am not good company when it's just Me and Myself. Wait for I at least. Can't even get to a good buzz before quitting. There's where I've been done right. So I'll just eat my ritz crackers and drink my plain coke. Compel me.

So as far as the preparation, I have made my drawers and closet neat, fixed my wall to my own satisfaction, picked out some clothes to pack, and the rest will be done by Monday. If the flight isn't delayed, I guess we're really going. I'm scared of thunderstorms.

These Ritz crackers aren't what I had hoped.

Yesterday my dad said "Okay...when you go to the Philippines, you have to ride a carabao, okay?" Haha, I said ok. Wish he was comin with us.

You know what, you're "Cute without the E"..."cut from the team." Just the song I'm listenin to.

So. Parents gone to Tracy again.

I just need to keep you in mind as something larger than life.

Remind me. No more.

Okay, so when I'm in the Philippines and I go to a restaurant, I am ordering ONE beer. Just one. Because drinking around my ma sounds like it'll automatically not be fun.

Note to any Sociable. Got somethin for you. You'll get it right before I leave. Because I love you so.

Of course my stomach hurts. Hah. Weak.

So I stumbled upon this one blog. I dunno, made me think. Or else I have been thinkin like this for a little bit. Future tense shit. Like what I will become, who is staying, what we'll do. Damn, I want to live alone for a bit to get the loneliness in my head to realize it's not what I want. Move out of this place. Go back to Boston. Live big city life before I realize I need quiet. Find stability. Build a foundation. Ya know. Sometimes I think about what I'll do with my walls and then it leads me to think if I had my own little house, what it would be like. Spanish villa? Yeah, I like that little house feel. I like the coziness. Or when I go to the store I go to the kitchen stuff and think about which toaster I would get if I lived on my own. And then I start planning in my head. Two years, I think, save up, move out. Not to escape, but to learn. That's all it is, anyway. I'll find myself out of here. See, I think my life moves in cycles. Like now. I moved away only to find myself back here. And again, I'll move away, only to find myself back where I began. Probably. Is that growing or regressing? Or just realizing truths? Not sure. My mind's been drifting. My cousins all growing up. My friends all still being here in my life maybe? I'll fight like hell. I can picture cocktail parties in my spanish villa with my proudly decorated walls. Because I'll do it my way. Gotta do it my way. Because right now, when I say I'm not ready, I really mean it. One day it'll hit me...time to move on and grow.

Growth. You know...Pain + Love.

We forget a lot of things in this life. Continue to, and will continue to. But we keep what we need. What was it...it's in a song...I heard it today, maybe from my laptop or in my car...

The first thing you want will be the last thing you need

Yup. Alright...I think it's time to make mixes for my trip. Got any suggestions? Hah. Happy Sunday. I'm going to a Kitty Party today.