Miss Misery

Two nights ago I had a dream that I killed someone. And it turned out to be my cousin. But then it wasn't. Then my aunt was trying to make me eat vegetables. And the colors were so vivid. And it's the only dream I've remembered in almost it's entirety all week.

Last night I had a dream about driving and I had to get gas...and today when I was driving my sister went to work the gas light went on.

My dad gave me his phone to function with, but he said no texting, so I'm really bored. We're gonna get me a new phone later. Kinda feel like shit about that. It was my fault. Yeah, it was. When I think about some things my heart starts to beat really fast and I have to convince myself to push it out into the black hole of my brain. Send it flailing.

i'll fake it through the day
with some help from johnny walker red
send the poison rain down the drain
to put bad thoughts in my head
two tickets torn in half
and a lot of nothing to do
do you miss me, miss misery
like you say you do?

a man in the park
read the lines in my hand
told me i'm strong
hardly ever wrong i said man you mean you

I had plans for both of us
that involved a trip out of town
to a place i've seen in a magazine
that you left lying around
i don't have you with me but
i keep a good attitude
do you miss me, miss misery
like you say you do?

i know you'd rather see me gone
than to see me the way that i am
but i am in the life anyway

next door the tv's flashing
blue frames on the wall
it's a comedy of errors, you see
it's about taking a fall
to vanish into oblivion
is easy to do
and i try to be but you know me i come back when you want me to
do you miss me miss misery
like you say you do?

I love Elliott Smith. I'm alone most of the day today, so I think I'll take advantage of that. Pretend everyone left me and see how it feels. Because even though I push and shove, I was still crying my ass off at formal because everyone left.

Trying to occupy space, what a fuckin joke. What a fuckin joke.