bigger than the sound

The term "starving artist" has new meaning to me. Art stuff is expensive.

I had a weird ass dream. I don't remember much of it, except I got high and I was smoking and why?? I don't get it. Oh yeah, and something about going to LA, but instead of Los Angeles it was Louisiana (Postal Code LA) haha...wtf? I've been having some unsatisfying dreams lately. Waste of sleep. But when I rolled over to see my window I noticed blue instead of gray. Thanks for coming out, Mr. Sun. I appreciate it.

I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
Till I understand or go blind

I went and got more art stuff. I love rolling the windows down and not being cold. Then I ventured to the park. Remembered that I helped to do those stupid leaf imprints on the path leading up to a circle bench. So I sat down on the circle bench. It's weird, it's right in the middle of nowhere. There's no trees around it or anything. I was all alone on the circle bench. Once, I went with my sister and cousin and I took a picture of the sky. So I did it. Sat there and read for a while. Then came home. Enjoyed the sounds of my Sun Mix that I made and now I'm home. I have to cook dinner. I'll try to enjoy the sun though...


I guess I blog because writing is my dream. Writing for you seems kind of like having you read a story unfold. Stupid shit about my day...fuckin feelings, blah. All of that shit is just me...trying to write something worth reading. Like this is my novel. But it's about me. Sometimes about people in my life. But I realized this is why I write here so much. Not necessarily that I just want someone to care...but it's for myself. Because I need to remember why I care. So I'm writing it all down. One day I'll look back on all this...I laugh. I miss these days already. Weirdest spring break ever...I think. But it's only my second college spring break. Not weird in a bad way, by the way. Just yeah...

Well one day I want to go beyond the blog and become what I dream to be. Have someone actually feel what I feel, let my words send messages from my soul to yours...or my heart to yours...or my mind to yours. And actually really feel it. Because I want to be that good. One day...you'll see the skies today as I saw them. Not through my eyes...but through my words.

Agh. Must be that time coming around...