Planning a revival.

It's crazy how you can trick yourself to do things and be things and believe things. Maybe the mind is the strongest parts of us. Though, hey, the heart's pretty much up there, fueling our living and all. Or maybe it's so cliche and so true that they work together. And together...they're the strongest thing.

I'm just saying though. Because I was thinking about how I can trick myself so easily, and then change without any regard. Of course, there is a good and bad to everything.

So as we broke into the bay again I realized that time was running out for hella shit. Almost time for Spring Break. Always desperate to hide the ghosts that follow me. Gotta focus now in school. Gotta get the lil sis some good shit. Must be here. And then I train myself not to think about it. And I am numb.

So I'm going to spend all my time here trying to right my wrongs and not create any new ones. Somehow falling became the rising action in this play. My coup de grâce ain't comin soon. Unless self-inflicted. I say that all the time, huh. Just have to remind myself sometimes.

fuck it won't get anyone anywhere. Just standing in the same spot, avoiding the same flaws and fucked up situations. But eventually we remember everything we try to forget and the past catches up with us. Nah...no more fuck it. If there's going to be a fuck it, it's going to be in a accept that shit and leave it. Not fuck it.

C'mon and breathe with me. Open air. This wet March. I always hated March the most. I feel the most infinite when I'm standing in the rain and staring past me. Someone I don't know is being rained upon too. And someone I love is being rained upon as well. And maybe they feel infinite at the same time. So fuck, come on. What do you need? Hope? A push? Or just a slap in the face? I don't know if this is how you feel, reader. But if it is, come find me, give me that look and it's on. I fuckin hate this feeling in myself, so anything to get anyone else out of it, I'll do.

Let it rain.

Oh and just as a note...three days of rain...one week of at least some sun. Happy Spring Break. P.S. i don't think I can do the no alcohol thing, because once this damn lip heals I'm going to down a bottle of 151. Hah.

And.

Happy Birthday Rikster.

I don't know if she reads it. But IT'S RIKKI'S BIRTHDAY!!! (404 love)