Goodbye San Jose

Do you know the way to San Jose? Because I'm backtracking, retracing my footsteps of the summer, though not many, it was a good summer. And I don't care that much right now that I didn't get to see so many people, regretful, yes, but do I let it bother me? No. Why? Because I think in high school I didn't know what was going on and what was real, but coming back from college, I am starting to sift out the real shit. But excuse me for giving up, I'm sorry. It's a two-way street, and we both backed out. Still friends in my heart.

I'm looking at all this shit in my room. I have to clean. Do this. Do that. Can't leave it this way, my mom will freak. So my last night in San Jose...before I move...will be spent watching TV with my sister, which I enjoy, so don't try to save me...and packing my shit. My mom is making me this floral thing...maybe instead of putting it on the dining table I'll put it in my room and when I look at it, it'll look like home for a second...

I hate moving.

Oh my God....oh my God.

Tomorrow my train leaves at 7 in the morning. The train that is my dad. Driving me on the way to work...

But of course, this Summer...it needs a checklist. A list. A nostalgic footprint in the blog system. I'm blabbing.

Top Ten Summer Moments (in no particular order):
10. How could I ever forget the beginning of summer? Dcruz, Noemi, and I on bad ass weirdo adventures. Like this isn't summer, but it's damn close...NOT STUDYING. haha. That's all I gotta say about that. But damn...good times.
9. MEMORIAL DAY 05. Water fight against Rosie. Seein some of BVilla...got love. Dressin up in clothes at Wal-Mart...Madagascar. That movie will forever be attached to my memories of Dcruz and Noemi.
8. MY BARFDAY. When they said "Happy Birthday" I didn't believe it until I was saved and kidnapped by my Summer Saviors (Noemi and Dcruz). Thank you...how can I say it enough, because ya'll are always saving me...
7. HANGING WITH THE CUZZOS like triple time, folks. Like wow. Gotta love the talks over french fries, like an update, like an upgrade from childhood meals and playing to now reminiscing about those days. Each day I am amazed and impressed by the people my cousins are growing up to be. I love my family. No doubt, and I only think that they deserve the best, even if I don't get anything I ever want...I won't be jealous, but happy, if they live good lives.
6. MANONG STANLEY. Class with my manong was fun while it lasted. And just hanging with him in general...man, so this is what it feels like? It's like we're tag-teaming, the two oldest, leading the way... And I hope he starts treating women better...and realizes the things he needs to change. I truly hope he is blessed with some good quality love in his life.
5. GOLF. FAMILY DAY. LIFE. VACAVILLE. THEME PARKS. With my cousins, days last forever. Nights are blessed ones, nights...
4. CAB RETREAT. Reunited with the sisters, and it felt so good.
3. SUMMIT POINTE. I love that place. Some good, paranoid memories there...
2. SUMMER SUMMIT. I love roadtrips. I love roadtrips with sisters. I love inspiration...and yeah.
1. JOINING THE GYM and meeting Mr. Heavenly Buns. I am so in love. With his tush. Hahahahahaha, I just used "tush." Oh gosh...

Damn. I look at my parents, and think of this interesting dichotomy in my head. How I need to leave, but I don't want to stay. Or how I want to leave, but I want to stay.

Don't get me wrong. I'm counting hours to get up there and have my freedom again, but sometimes I miss the sun in my room...and playing tricks on my mom when she comes home from work, and my sister coming in my room to bug me even though she stinks. But of course...growing up. Whatever, whatever, blah blah blah.

I am constantly saying Goodbye after I get comfortable in my place. Goodbyes aren't permanent, right? Not this one. I can always hide inside my head and let memories of the summer devour me as I forget the world around me for a moment. Let the moment pass. And here I am again.