follow up

I had a talk last night. Actually I've been having a talk every night. But yesterday the mamas said to follow up something negative with something positive. I'm not really sure how to do that.

Well, yesterday looked really nice. I walked out for breakfast in a T-shirt. Granted I was hugging myself for the most part of the walk. But I walked out in a t-shirt nonetheless. And Marthie, that girl, though it was sad news, she put hope in me and she seemed so strong. It's just a matter of getting over things. A matter of getting over yourself. What else did I do yesterday...met up with Ate Carley, talked with Kim, Nicole, Ate Kristine, Ate Aimee. Attended my first general meeting. Took a nap. But yeah, that was no good because I woke up right when they were leaving. Ate In-N-Out. Cried to my parents for the first time. Or not the first time..first time in a long time. I think I need something to get me through.

I'm going on a break. Starting Monday. Just because to take a break right now is just not possible. It isn't. Easy as it seems. I just need to put my head down I think. Have a day where I can sleep, and think after. Not just sleep. Sleep doesn't really help me. Puts my body at rest, but not my mind. I need to put my mind at rest. I feel so morbid and depressed. But ya know, it comes and goes. There's no end. How many times have I felt this in the past? I will feel it again in the future. Life goes on.

My mom called me this morning. She said "That's life, anak." Mom is right.