ready to leave

It's time to leave the anger behind. Sadness yielded way to anger...anger to resentment...resentment. Resentful that they had no faith or trust. Resentful of things I care about. It sucks to know that I do this, and that I know I do this...and I'm sorry.

Pick up. Stand up. Stop being a failure. Stop acting like I'm not a failure. There is failure in my being. I am all talk and no action. I am all dreams and no reality. Things have to change.

I know where I begin and where I end. This is where I prolong the ending. Not create it.

This is the Self Phase. Part 1,405. Somewhere in that ball park. There is not just one, even though that's the only one they designate. There will be many more Self Phases in my life. Because things are always changing. My mind is always working.

It is about adjusting. Practicing. Realizing. Dying and living again.

The death of me. Give way to the birth of ME.

I live and die each day, and you don't see it. I kill myself each moment, and I can't ask you to save me. I can only save myself. And the only way I will ever give up is if I give myself the chance to.

Two words that have ruled my life have been "Fuck it." Slowly...they are going to be phased out. Perhaps replaced by two other words....

I have two for you.

Motivate me.

Two more: I live.