GEEKED OUT.

So today...whoa man I really have to blog about today. It was just so fuckin' random. So today, I went to all my classes. At 1, Juanita picked us up and we went to this taqueria, and so I ordered a taco....FUCKIN TACO WAS SMALLER THAN MY PALM. What the fuck, did I order the BARBIE SIZE TACO??? Because I swear it said TACO A-LA-CARTE! Jerks, I like Taqueria Las Vegas. They have HUMAN SIZED TACOS.

Oh so we scooted our (Juanita, Emma, Rosanne, Noemi, and I) Eta butts to City Hall for volunteer work. That was cool. Met some people. Did some promoting. Got a few business cards. It was a fun car ride back too. Jammin to ETA music. Good times. Then went back to Juanita's to study. Nicole came, so Nicole, Emma, and I went to Safeway and got some SOBE ADRENALINE RUSHES. woot woot. soooooo Goood. So yeah, then headed over to the meeting.

I EFFING RAGGED ON MYSELF AND KIM'S COUCH. DANGIT.

EDIT:

THURSDAY, MARCH 10, 2004
Today was so random. I remembered that I didn't have Art History today because it's one of those "Museum Days." Whatever. So I was out of school by 12:15. Before I left for Speech class, Ate Aimee sent a text about going to the beach since it was so nice out. How random! But I was down. So...after Speech, I met up with some ETAS: Nicole, Kim, Delacruz, and Noemi and we went to Kim's house (minus Noemi because she had class). Changed into our shorts and had some yummy jalapeno poppers and chicken nuggets. MmmMm...then listened to the ETA music again and met up with Ate Aimee and Ate Marilou back at State. Woohooooo funn funn funn.

Beach time! The beach was awesome. Got all sorts of wet. It got really cold after a while, kinda made me regret going into the water that much. Dang. We hella just went into the water, or at least I did. Hah. Days like these, man. How can you not go in the water? How can you not like that feeling. Anyway, that was just relaxing. Lots of fun hanging out and being silly willies, not that I'm never that. Because I'm always that. Not always...but yeah...just when I'm around them...I should get serious, huh? I don't know. But it was nice. Had some good times. The whole days just kinda stands out...like...standing out there...looking for crabs...jellyfish...stupid jellyfish...running around...dang my ankles hurt. I got arthritis or some shit. Fuckin random ass shit. UGH. But good times.

Thennn went to L&L. Everything was fine until we started discussing the weekend. And then my mind started working. Working working working. Always kills it. So I called my mom to see if I could go home tonight because I wanted to hang out with her before her surgery. She said yeah...because I wanted to hang out....because I don't know...I hate thinking about my parents like that. I hate thinking about them helpless or in a hospital bed at all...it worries me, and it scares me, and it just makes me sad. And I know she doesn't want to do it, because she's already postponed it. But then my dad called me, and we got in an argument because he didnt want me to miss school, so I just thought FUCK IT THEN.

Part of me is vindictive. Angry and selfish because my mother won't let me come home early just to spend time with her. And all she cares about is that I don't miss school and that the sorority doesn't get in the way. But none of it is about that. The vindictive part of me wants to just say FUCK IT. Fuck it, I won't spend any time with you then. Because there's a lot of shit going on this weekend, which is why I tried to make time for her...but she won't accept my time. So fuck that. Why do I try.

That's my angry side. But in consideration of where she's coming from, I guess I understand. It's a common procedure I guess...I don't know. It gets me. Thinking about that shit gets me. It makes me tear up. And tear myself up. And like...damn, they don't see it. Fuck...so I guess fuck it. I'll do my thing then if that's how you want to do it. Then I'll just do my shit. Fuck trying to spend time with you. Fuck trying to make you feel better.

I need to not think right now. I really really really wish I could drink this one down. Man, I want to get out of my head so bad. Need to get drunk or high or something and just forget about it. Tomorrow will be fine. But no...because I know that I'll just regret it, end up crying or something because I'll feel guilty about breaking rules. I'm such a baby. Why are you reading this....