you don't deserve to be lonely

Oh, just fuck it already.

You'd think that you look forward to something, the least that it can be is good even if it doesn't live up to your expectations? I don't know, this week just keeps getting increasingly agonizing. It's all in my head, probably. So, I'm not so sure about LA anymore or how I feel about that. Man, I need a break. Sleep has been a bitch. School is a bitch. Everything is a bitch. I'm not sure how I feel about it anymore, man. I don't know. We're getting closer and closer to the end, but I don't know...

I just need a day to myself. To think. Put myself back together. So tomorrow when I smile, I'll mean it. I hate lying.

Ugh. I'm not even menstrual anymore, but I sure act like it. I think I have a migraine too...

Sitting in the living room of 404 all alone at 3 o'clock in the morning feeling like a complete puddle of shit. I don't know. I can't believe tomorrow's thursday. Man. Let's just get shit over with already. I am stressing over all sorts of weird shit. I don't know. I need to chill. I wish I knew how.

I'm trying to decide if the living room of 404 feels like the living room at home, or if 404 feels like home, because I'm not sure it ever did. It just felt like some place I slept and did all that home stuff with three other girls, come to think of it.

I'm such a baby. Don't be my friend, I'm a baby. All you'll get from me is a contagious lukewarm feeling for the world. We'll just see. I want to sleep now. So I will. Too late...