anti-social

I'm feeling quite anti-social this week. Don't ask me why. I've just been waking up in the afternoon, and that pretty much kills the whole day for me because I honestly mean to wake up earlier, but my hand automatically goes for the snooze button on the alarm. So that's that. And my cousin keeps texting me at 2 in the morning from the Philippines. Thanks Antoine. It's not like I sleep anyway.

So, I'm pretty sure that next week...will be less anti-social, more social since next week I have to go back to San Francisco for the Winter Conference. So there it is. And then a week after, I think I'll move back to Frisco until school starts because I honestly can't take this anymore. Being here gives me tooooooooo much time on my hands. All I do is think. THINK THINK THINK. And you know what that does to me. It conversely damages me. Not like other people, where thinking is productive. I think I've been left alone to think enough for the next decade. So obviously, I've been left alone to think for quite a while during this vacation, and it isn't putting my mind at ease. I need something to do. BUT, now that I've resolved not to spend so much money, WHAT CAN I DO? Well...the daddio has been home the last two days, which is weird. I liked the idea of having the house to myself for a few hours during the day so that I could do my thing, chill out, watch downstairs on the big TV, do household crap...but with dad around, I just kind of stay up in my room because when I'm around dad I don't know what to say. The parents and I have somewhat of a communication problem. Not that I don't try to communicate. I do. And not that I don't love them. I do. There's just this certain amount of time I can stand with them making me feel so small and such. I don't know....whatever....that's the way things are.

See...what did I tell you??? THE THOUGHTS!! They attack me! What did I ever do... maybe I will go out and run errands, maybe cook...hah...lately I've been fascinated by the Food Network...by lately I mean today only in the past few hours I've been awake. Well...I haven't eaten much really anyway. Since New Year's Eve. I've only had like...a meal a day with like two snacks or something because I just feel so disgusted...I don't know how to explain it. You ever like...subconsciously stop doing something because you were turned off by it, like when you look in the mirror...like you see someone you don't like...so you subconsciously turn yourself off to everything that the person in the mirror would have done? It seems rational to me.

Well, so I was watching Sex, Lies, and Videotapes last night and they were speaking of this interesting thought...

Men learn to love the women they are attracted to, and women get more and more attracted to the men that they love.

Dood doo dooo...Some chick is making cake on tv. hah.