Fairweather.

I don't want to be here. Don't care if it's 404. Don't care if it's San Francisco and not San Jose. Because I want to be home. This place is fucking me up.

I feel all sorts of sad and stressed. You can shoot me. Please, shoot me.

My bed. My family. Real food. And then...after that. I have to deal with things. My mom is going to be going through a lot come Winter break, so I'll have to catch her responsibilities in a way. And take care of things. My bed. My family. This makes me sad and it's only hitting me. It's only hitting me. And it hit me pretty damn bad. I wish I knew how to deal with these things better. I'm terrible at these things because my mind contorts them into worse things...and hopefully, that's what I'm doing and they're not worse in real life. If they are......... kill me now.

Play by play of the weekend.

Friday was fun. Well, kind of. I was really tired, but we had Kamayan practice, which I can tell you about now. We did a dance. Cha cha, reggae, battle, "Thriller." Practice lasted forever, but we did go to Target in Daly City, which was also fun. I spent a butt load of money on items for the care package for the veteranos. The Nar came by to watch us practice and afterwards Rosanne, Brenda, Nar, and I went to a bonfire. It was whack. All of that thug business. Stupidity all over the place. And because I'm moody let me just say that all that fuckin shit pisses me the fuck off. I hate that fake thug business. It's stupid. So we just went home.

Saturday was Kamayan. How very stressful. But it was very cool. It was nice to see them laugh and be so appreciated....and we tried with the dance. I swear. I was so nervous though. But coolness. You know...I'm liking it. I'm liking it a lot. The bonding is coming along just fine. I'm impressed with a lot of my pledge sisters, I have a lot of respect for them and I know that that respect will only grow as I get to know them better. Afterwards hung out with Nar and his roommate and we went to watch National Treasure. Awesome movie. Kind of weird and funny, but good. Yeah.

Today was just...all you can eat day. We ate so much...gosh. Swear to God. So I'm going to cool it with that.

I just want to go home and see all the people that left. Thanksgiving dinner with the pals on Wednesday. Thanksgiving with the family on Thursday. And for some reason my mom wants to go to the mall on Friday. And then I'll go shopping for the 404 Xtreme Xmas. We're excited. We're making shirts and we're just going to have a friggin ball. It's going to be lovely. Xmas Xmas Xmas....but...

then there's that. Sometimes when things were simpler....things were happier.

But I liked this weekend. Just want to go home now.