Saturday, you were interesting.

Woho. Went to SFSU today for that Sneak Preview thing. It was boring. I'm scared, I really am. I didn't like it. It was ugly, ghetto, and the people freaked me out. Where are the Asians?!? I hope they all went home for the weekend or something, because I didn't see many. I don't know if I can feel comfortable in an environment lacking of the whole 5" tall, little eyes, brown/yellow skin, Asian thing. Did it once, not sure if I can do it again. Especially around the fuckin' Abercrombie type. There weren't many of those at Andover. I just want to be somewhere laid-back. Now, though I'd only admit this in secret, I'm seriously considering SJSU. My parents are cool with SFSU...I think they think its ugly too, but they don't want to say anything.

Man, I keep thinking that maybe I'll wake up and it'll be September 2003. But I wake up and its tomorrow. Suck ass, man. I'm so full of regrets, it comes out of my eyes (actually lacrimal thingies) in liquid form everynight.

Dude. How and when did everything get out of my control. Maybe its always been, and I've been tricking myself. Which actually is pretty possible. Anyway, I do love San Francisco and if I don't want to get stuck with a shitty roommate, I can always stay at my Great Aunt's place. But I don't really know her, and she's sick. I can't handle that.

Well, my parents are basically pushing me to sign that Intent To Register, so I just might. I just need to know someone else is going to be there. Because being alone sucks. Man, I feel alone right now. Everyone is happy with what they've ended up with, and why am I not? I don't know. How can you say "Quit whining." How can you say that? Do you know what it feels like to be a complete failure in your own eyes? No, you fuckin' don't. At least you have an option. At least you are happy with what you ended up with even if it wasn't what you expected or wanted. Man, I got something I only applied for as a joke. Fuck.

If this is the beginning of my life, I think the rest is going to be shitty. So what's the point of it all.