Let it be known....

I am a reject, officially now. From Davis. Well, they weren't worthy of my presence anyway. I'd rather go to De Anza. Oh...I'm lying. I'm bummed. When I found out it was just comical, now its like....REJECT. LOSER. HAHA YOU DIDN'T GET IN. This heavy feeling that I'm going to be stuck here....and I don't have to tell you how much its killing me. Well... I guess just waiting for Berkeley now... yeah right! There's no chance at all that I got in. So here are my choices:
--Riverside
--SFSU
--SJSU
--Irvine (maybe)

Irvine is sending me these letters about my FAFSA. So does that mean I'm in? Well...my mom won't even let me go to SoCal, so what's the use? I can just go if I want, but that'll entail begging and breaking her heart, which I'm not prepared to do. Two hours away is cool, but if all I can get is a phone call every weekend and home for the holidays, I think she'd be sad. My mom has this strange attachment to us. One of the reasons I'd be sad to leave. Man... but that may not even be a concern. Right. But... I guess we have to move on. We have to be positive. I mean that. If this is all just a psychological, just don't fuckin' care. The less you care, that just translates into not caring when the rejecting comes--if it comes. I won't say that there is no if in these situations, because there are ifs. There's maybe one person who I think can make it anywhere, but she really won't hear it. Eh, whatever. That's life I guess. My whole plan is thrown out of whack now.