Erasure

Being a reject sucks. I'm putting my two days of moping in. Weekend should make me feel fine, because it means no school, no looking at what I hate, and no bullshit. As of now, though, with the realization that my propects are dwindling, my mother knows that SJSU is now a very strong possibility. And when I say I don't want to go there, I think she's trying to make me feel guilty. But I think I'd really be miserable, and when I say miserable, I really mean I'd want to kill myself everyday. I'm not being morbid, its the truth. I don't know why mom would want that because she's always telling me not to stress out. All this is the ultimate stresser-outer. I'm dying just waiting. Waiting for rejection now that I know. Berkeley wouldn't take me. Now I'm just sitting here trying to make decision. SoCal? SFSU? OR.....SJSU and be miserable? Dude.... I'm so fuckin' jaded and tired now. I won't be sad about this. Just it all sucks, that's it. Nothing goes the way its supposed to, and why has it taken so long for me to know that?