No broken anything.

Why does it feel like, when everything is flourishing around you, you're the only thing that's stuck in the rut? Man. I'm not doing anything I said I wouldn't do. I'm not saying anything I said I wouldn't say. What I said, or what I said to myself, was that I was going to be a better person. I was going to do what I felt and feel no regret or remorse for it. And of course the conscience would keep me in check. But I'm feeling this feeling like every five entries now. And I don't know if this is the right place to put it, or if you want to read it, in either case I don't care. Your eyes can stop where they want, but mine will keep going. Is it just me or is everything getting old? All the fake smiles and all the forced laughter. How about just walking when you know your legs don't want to move. And listening when you know your own voice will not be heard. Is it just me? What happens when you can't even do that anymore? When you can't even muster a decent fake smile, or a half-smile for that matter? Well, I'm tired of this all. But this is just how I'm feeling now. Who knows, tomorrow might be different. I might wake up from the best dream I've had in months, and just the remnants of it will keep a real smile on my face for a couple of hours. That's what I'm hoping, anyway. I'm tired of dreams about dying, because when I wake up I'm angry with the world.