Freak me out.

The day after Christmas scares me. There's this unsettling feeling. Have I written about that feeling before? I get it, and I've gotten it today. A lot. It feels like...it feels like....well, I don't know if I can or want to type it. It feels like I'm going to die. It feels like something bad is going to happen. And it scares the hell out of me. Maybe I'm just weird. But I hate Christmas only for the fact that I feel this every year. I think that maybe something traumatic happened to me the day after Christmas or after a party during my formative years. I remember this one time we came home from my Aunt's house, and I saw the light in the bathroom on in our house and I refused to go in the house. I thought there was someone in there. So my mom took us to Ross and she called my dad because I was freaking out. I also remember asking to buy a stuffed animal. My mom said no. Anyway, I get really nervous when I have to come home at night or I come home after a party. And its scary. Is that weird? Does anyone else feel this?

man I'll write about the parties later. I'm freaked out. And I can't smell or taste or breathe well. Gosh....I hate the Holidays.