Ask me ask me ask me

Hey, its almost midnight. Yeah, it is. And you know what I was thinking about? Well, you don't need to know. There's a reason why its all in my head, you know. But yeah. I was thinking about how six months from now (kinda) we'll be the happiest kids in the world, and maybe the saddest. But let's concentrate on that good part. Man. I'm so excited. So this is a new year, eh? Not yet? Oh, I'm ahead of myself. Well, I don't want to blog anymore this year. Maybe next year. But I will post my resolutions, because though they are only for me, maybe you can take them.

My Resolutions:

Well, you see, I've lived my whole bitter teenage existence, just that way. Bitterly. Its like I'm constantly turning over rocks, and all I get is a dark nothing. And so each time I react the same way. I withdraw. Make up excuses. This is why I hate everything. I'm always looking for something that isn't there. I'm kind of a hippie, aren't I? I listen to music to be sad. I like to cry during movies. Either that or I'm a forty-year-old lonely woman. That too. Old soul, you know. But anyway. I always go for tabula rasa. Everytime, but its the same thing. I never get my slate fully clean. So I'll start right here. Tabula Rasa. AGAIN. But here. I'm starting 2004 free of regret. Free of expectation. I've written far too many times of these things. I won't care anymore. Well, I will. But not marginally as much as I did this last year or the years before. Man, this is my last year of high school. Last six months, at least. I would like not to remember it as the worst four years of my life. I can deal with it being the worst three and a half years. But not four. So here it is. I'm finishing up tabula rasa. Free of regret, free of expectation.

Good luck to you all in this coming year. Make it better than mine. =)

Did I tell you? I was in Walgreens the other day with my family and my sister and I went to the toy aisle. I got the urge to play with my Barbies. But then I realized I didn't have anymore and I got sad. Barbies were the coolest ever. Man, I miss being a stupid kid.