In between the shadows....

I tried to start the Plato paper. No such luck. Maybe tomorrow. After I go drive my cousin to buy his stupid videogame. Or after I watch my sister's performance.

Anyway, I have this weird urge to scrawl out all of these words that are running through my head right now. They're all lyrics to those songs I love. And they're all about one thing. And I want to write them on my wall with a thick black sharpie. And I just want to stare at them, and read them, and sing with them. Maybe this is a little schizo. But I want to. I want to see all of these words that I love to listen to in front of me. I want to see how they look together. What do they all spell out?

Anyway, I think I'll go make a shirt when I get some cash. It'll have something geeky on it of course like "Arnold for Prez." Or maybe a picture of myself. Nah, I wouldn't even want to look at it. As much as I'd like to gush about how I love myself and I'm the Queen of blah blah blah blah and the Master of what not, Supreme this or that, I really can't. Like Noemi's little fortune thing, "He who would love another, must learn to respect himself." Change that "he" to a "she" and we're all set. So respect? Myself? Absolutely not. I'm a ball of insecurities and I'm constantly worried about what you think or what he thinks or what they think. So I'm really not a jerk all the time. I'm really just thinking. Because I can't help it. My mind works every moment, you wanna stop it?--you'll have to see the boss. And I won't let you, in addition. So when I walk by you and I'm quiet and it seems I'm looking past you, I am. I'm not putting it on. Just pondering. You know. Deciding whether or not the future is in my favor. Because its a matter of your decision right? What do you know? And that's why I'm pondering.

In other news. I want to watch Mystic River.