Call mom

When I get called "Auntie" by my cousins or I get calls concerning problems in my family, I can't help but think that maybe I'm too old. It feels weird now. I say things that my mom says, I worry about things the same as my mom. Its weird. Pensive. I'm very much that. Right now. Instead of sleep I just lie there....thinking the whole time, and I hear my radio stops because I put it on sleep and I guess I forget. Then there's silence. So I think more. More and more. What should I do? Everything's all screwy. I don't feel like myself. Nothing feels permanent. It feels like tomorrow I'll do all the same things I did today, but I'll know that at the end of this week, it won't be the same anymore. In reality it is, but reality is nothing. I don't know how to describe any of this right now, but I wish you could feel what I feel right now. Not so that you can feel my misery, or you can feel my elation, but its something that I think you should feel. What is this?