Well, I think this is growing up

I'm having trouble with a little something. You know, that little thing called adulthood. Growing up. Yeah, that. I can change, I know people change, but its just the accepting part that gets to me. Seeing everyone in a different light. And everything. That's when nostalgia kicks in. And for me that kicks in often. There are but a few things that I've ever experienced that stay with me at every moment--that I think of whenever I do anything. And you know, whether good or bad, I still look back as if to stay back in time is salvation. But time moves ahead not backward. And all these steps through life, I have not managed to take a step forward without falling back. Because it really gets me to see things change. Like watching my little cousins grow to be more responsible and more independent. To see my parents relying on us more for help, and us, in turn, needing them less. I don't know. If you ever need to know anything about me, know that I put a lot of faith in the people around me. Not meaning that I depend on them per se, but I put my life on them. Because what would it be without them. And I need them here. And then all of a sudden when everything changes, it takes a while for me to take a step forward along with it all. Because I step back and look at what used to be and what now is, and it kills me. It friggin kills me.

I don't know what brought this up. I'm tired of divulging the boring details of my day. So I'll divulge the petty mess that's in my head. BYE.