Terminal

I took the SATs. I had the sniffles the whole time. Consequence of being sick this whole week. It was okay; kinda hard. When I entered the door, I saw some familiar faces, and that put me a little bit at ease. After the test, though, I was half expecting to see faces I knew at Andover. Sometimes I do that. Sometimes its hard to tell whether the person that I'm remembering is from home or Andover. Anyway, the whole time I was taking the test, I was thinking about Suhrid. I remember him and Geoff talking to me. Telling me, "See you missed the medium ones! You shouldn't be missing the medium ones!" But they'd always smile, and I'd always smile, and then I'd say "I didn't know how to do it..." And it was nice to know them. Gosh, I miss the summer.

Yesterday I bought the fabric for my dress with Jackie. We're getting ours made, because we haven't found ours by now, and its starting to get to us. Next year, I'm starting to look for the senior prom dress after I finish College Applications. I imagine with my schedule, getting out of school early and all, I'll have enough time. I can't believe it. Everything that I ever thought of, being able to drive, being able to go out, going to prom, graduating, going to college; its all coming. Some of its already here. And its weird, because it feels like life is just starting. We're reading Catfish and Mandala in English. I want to do that. I want to be able to write truly from my screwed up eyes. I tried once, but afterward I felt disgusted with myself. I thought, You're so pathetic, and I never tried again, because I hated feeling inferior to myself. As weird as it sounds. Anyway...9 weeks? Or is it 8 now? I can't wait until the summer. Calm summer. I hate spring. I hate winter. I want my summer and fall. Then they tell us about our senior trip, and ahhh, it feels so close, yet so intangible. I want to go. I want to know these people forever. I want to talk to them after we leave Independence. They all get invitations if I ever get married, have a kid...do the nuclear family thing. So are these the best days of our lives? All I know is that I'm thankful that today doesn't feel like the worst.

Things to do:
--SAT classes start Monday. From then on every Monday and Wednesday for three hours.
--Get dress made
--Still need date. Well, I don't need one. It'd be nicer if I had one, though.
--Study for "big chem test"
--Study for APs
--Start applying for scholarships, visiting prospective universities
--Dieting, getting in shape. Summer=shorts. Summer=tank tops. Summer=the season that I'm most comfortable