I wanna be sedated.

Somehow, I think that one day I will develop a secret addiction to a controlled substance. Alcohol. Nicotine. Crack. Meth. Just a feeling I have. I have a feeling that one day I will screw up so badly, nothing in my life will ever seem right. One day, a dark day, we'll find ourselves on top of a building, looking down contemplating descension. Jump? No. Yes? Who knows? And everyone we care about will be down there waiting to see if we do the right thing; the moral thing. What's moral when it comes to the self. Its a real question. I see my downfall somewhere in the obscurity of the future. And I see myself falling perfectly in the pit. Never getting out perhaps. Always trying. Always faking. Everyday's a step closer. Everyday's a desire to look back and disappear in the road behind me. And sometimes one can get torn. Between the future and the past. Sometimes I am wrong. This time I am right. Sedate me. Because I don't want to feel it when I fall.