Yeah! Go Class of '04! You rock the casbah!

Powderpuff game results: 1st place

Today I played: tackle (but they took me out because I couldn't hold this big girl, but how can you blame me, she straight up knocked my 5'1" ass down), tackle on D (I did pretty good. Didn't pull no flags). I was a pretty big disappointment today. Couldn't take no one. They were all bigger than me.

Now we're all banged up. It was hella dirty. There was pushing, swearing; people got vendettas now. But hey, who's first in Powderpuff for the first time? Juniors of c/o 04, baby. Yeah.

Yesterday I wrote a big blog of self-loathing, i-hate-myself-i-want-to-run-away-no-one-cares sort of shit. And its not gone. Its just somewhere in the back of my head, behind all of the thoughts of disappointment from the game today. How I'm not in it anymore. It doesn't feel like it felt the last two years. Yesterday, I said that I needed time alone. Away from family. Away from these obligations, and people who say they care, when they only say it because they feel the need to because of their ties to me. But if obligations are what help get thoughts out, let them out, right? I don't like to talk if people don't want to listen. I'll fall off a cliff the day I find someone that really wants to listen. Sometimes it feels like I'm not real in this world. Maybe I'm not. I need to get away from homework. Teachers. Mom and Dad and Sister. And having to stay home because they don't want my sister alone. And expectations so high. Its like they think that I study, and pray, and watch kids on my spare time. I don't think anymore if it ain't about school. Because even when I watch my shows to get away, something comes back. I hate those Sundays. I hate Mondays even more. I hate these days, and I can't wait until my favorite season; summer. It'll always be like this. Neverending. For you and for me.
I'm down. I'm way down.