Happy Halloween, you crazies!

What a night. What a day. Happy birthday to you, Alex. I hope you like my mix. It's made super-sexy just for you!

Uh...that's all I have to say. So be safe! Don't scare kids because that is mean. Don't drive drunk, because that is dangerous. Have a good one!

Back to the Creek: Back to the future+Charlie Brown/Dawson's Creek Fan Fiction
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The crazy, white haired doctor stood next to the lamborghini in pride. His eyes were fanatic. Charlie, Ren, and Linus were speechless. Who was this guy? Weren't they just in Charlie's front yard? Where the hell did this old white guy come from?

Ren was the first to speak. "So, Charlie, nice camera there," her voice was seductive to Charlie Brown's ears.

"Thanks. I like to make films."

She giggled. "So do I."

But Charlie didn't know what she was truly speaking of. He didn't know that she had already been to Hollywood; that she failed and had to sell her body to crusty, old men. In fact, the old doctor was her best customer.

Linus looked on with eyes of envy as they flirted. That blanket had no purpose to him anymore. There was no turn-on here. He didn't have an erection to cover, damnit [idea by Alex]. Usually, whenever he was with Charlie Brown, he'd have to position the blanket directly in front of his croch. Charlie Brown was oblivious to this. He just thought it was because of the music the played. Hey, Barbara Streisand can be sexy!

Ren Linley looked at the crazy doctor.

"Ren!" he called. His eyes darted like crazy. Linus took a few steps back, thinking maybe the old man was on crack. "I need to use you and your friend in an experiment. I'll pay you."

There was silence. She gave him one of those why-the-heck-did-you-say-that-you-stupid-old-fart? faces. He shook his head in disappointment, realizing his folly. He slipped her a twenty.

"Sure, we'll do it, Doc."

The old man leaped in the air like a friggin leprechaun. Linus and Charlie jumped back. It was then that they realized the crazy dude was on crack. They noticed a gun in his pocket. It bulged out like...like...[let's not be vulgar here] a fat ass wallet. They watched in horror as the geriatric opened the car door. Inside, they noticed, were a cigarette butts, some clothes, and a few empty beer cans.

"Damnit, Ren!" the doctor screamed. "What did I tell you about taking the car out?"

Her face reddened. "You always say, 'Pick up the dirty draws after your appointments, you whore!' Sorry, I forgot."

He shook his head. "I want you three to Go back to the future..."

Oh no! Will Linus kick Ren out of his territory? Do you think Ren has VD? If so, do you think the Doc does too? That's wrong...What do you think the future is like? Stay tuned!

Get naked. No, please, get naked.

Basketball players=hot sexy pieces of sex.
Me watching basketball players=crazy ass bitch.
Vince Carter=the hottest hottie hot hot hot sexy man ever.

My proposal: I'll give you a zillion dollars if someone out there makes them play shirtless. Please, if there is a God...

I'm just a little chickenshit..

I haven't written in a while. Here's my weekend:
Saturday: my sister's birthday party. Parties aren't what they used to be. People are getting older. Family is drifting further apart. I used to see all of my cousins at these parties, but now I barely see any of them. It kind of makes me sad. So all I did was watch tv; mainly the monster fest on AMC.

Sunday: I scared the shit out of myself and went and saw The Ring. It's an awesome movie. It really made me think, and I'm still scared shitless. Its hard to fall asleep for me now. I could barely face the friggin computer screen. I'm such a baby.

Monday: I was still afraid. I didn't do much. I went to college fair. That was great. The one at Andover was better though, but here, it was more realistic. I know I won't go to Bucknell in Pennsylvania or Yale in Connecticut. Might as well sit my ass down here in California. I wanna go to SFSU or UCR. I have no idea how I'll manage next year though.

So most of the weekend I was scared. I could barely get to sleep last night. I'm such a chickenshit.

Where have all the cowboys gone?

For some strange, unknown reason, I'm thinking about that Paula Cole song. When I think of that song, I think of "Sonny Came Home". When I think of that song, I think of "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks. Then my mind just goes back to Paula Cole and that Dawson's Creek song. This is the chain of events. Welcome to my brain.

Coincidently, I'm not listening to anything at all related to these Lilith Fair chicks. I'm listening to Ella Fitzgerald. I love listening to her; it reminds me of those romantic comedies with Billy Crystal, Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan. You know, movies I should hate, being a punk and all. My sister is in her room scaring the fuck out of herself watching an MTV special on The Ring. Seen it? Is it good? Anyways, this whole day I spent drawing...(and waiting in a fucking dentist office. Damn, not punctual dentists...). I posted some sketches. I hope you like 'em. Not that they were drawn for your exact pleasure. They have that kind of punk thing. I'm going to mention Mr. Perfect Drummer Man again. Yes, this is why they are drawn like they are. Uhm...nothing interesting to write about tonight. I cleaned my room...hmm...not exciting...I didn't do much. Oh -fuckin- well.

Oh, if you didn't know...I like it rough...

Ooh bad title. It sounds perverted, doesn't it? Yeah, well don't even think about it that way. I'm against that whole degradation of women thing, remember that one blog? You fuckin better. So I was just thinking about it...here's the story...

Flash Back:
Where are we? Andover, Massachusetts. Phillips Academy. Sam Phillips Hall. Ethics Class.
Who's there? Vaughn (teacher), Ben (TA), Students: Megan, Shaena, Dylan, Young, and I
Subject of discussion? Sexual Morality.

Yeah folks, its true, we discussed sexual morality. Hey! NO, there weren't questions like if doggy style was a position that violated women (although I expect that feminists would believe so). Anyways, that is the day I became the sadomasochist. The night before we were to respond to a reading for homework. I casually slipped in, "Oh yeah, I don't believe that sadomasochism is immoral." MISTAKE: never include your views on sexual preference without backup. Anyways, the class was going the usual way: boring. I like to think that all ended once I got to explaining my take on sadomasochism. I defended it. Do you think its immoral? I said it wasn't, as long as the parties involved were consenting. Its not rape if you're consenting. It is violence if you're consenting either. Its like playing...that sounds wrong on so many levels.

Uhm, don't ask me why I feel compelled to include my views (or reputation, if you will). I must just feel so open and comfortable to you now...I don't know how to explain it, but I just feel this connection, you know?...I think I love you.

Did I get you?? Did I??? I was pullin your leg, dude(rette). Don't take it personal, I still love you, but in a friendly way.

the slow descension into an abyss of emotion:

good song title, eh? i'm too busy to appropriately capitalize my words. I don't even know what I'm doing still here. I should be doing my work. This stupid piece of shit box always distracts me. Its great how it sings to you though....and how you can connect with your friends. Today I got emails from my roommate and my friend Audrey. I love my homies. Not just the ones I just made, I love em all.

FUCK. every day i get more and more camden family seventh heaven damnit. oh well, sorry if i don't care enough to rebel and pose nude for an adult magazine that i think are degrading and hilarious. PORN is the most hilarious thing in the world! i swear. where else will you find the funniest, stupidest storylines? in friggin porn! its so stupid! i have no idea who gyrates while they write in their journal. hahah damn sure i don't. i mean, how do people get off that shit? one of these days we should have a comedy night and rent stupid movies, including some dumbass porn and wear cowboy hats to make it even more stupid. i wish i could have parties like that..

My Fro. It's on an unfinished page. I'm trying with these pictures dude,....

My Top 11 Movie Quotes (in no specific order):

"Man is like a banana: strong and firm, bright and phallic and he's protected by his all important shield. But when a woman comes along, you know, she see's this bright, phallic beast and she wants it but she's not happy with it the way it is - she wants to see what's inside. So she starts to peel away the all important shield. First, she wants to see your romantic side, then she wants to see your passionate side, then she wants to see your soft, caring, feminine side and she keeps peeling and peeling until your left there, buck naked, totally exposed with your balls blowing in the wind. That's when she grabs her knife and she starts to cut away your manhood, piece by piece, until their having your cock in their cornflakes." (The Brothers McMullen, 1995)

"Life is a storm my young friend, you will be basking in the sunlight one moment and shattered on the rock the next." (The Count of Monte Cristo, 2002)

"The older you get the more rules they are going to try and get you to follow. You just gotta keep on livin man! L-I-V-I-N! (Dazed and Confused,

My name is Dashiki. That's Swahili for Doggy Style. (Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood - 1996)

Look out there and tell me what you see. Nothing. Nothing piled upon fucking nothing. It's like fucking Jesus Christ took a shit and it landed right here!" (SLC PUNK!, 1999)

"Maybe I didn't really know you. Maybe you were just a mirage. Maybe the world is full of food and sex and spectacle and we're all just hurling towards an acropolis, in which case it's not your fault. I'm been thinking about all these things and....you're probably standing there monitoring. And one more thing -- about the letter. NUKE IT, FLAME IT, DESTROY IT -- it hurts me to know it's out there. Later." (Say Anything..., 1989)

"You think I'd talk to a dog? Do you think I'd ask a dog whether you are good or evil? Do you think I'm some sort of backwoods weirdo with a barn full of skulls and knives I sharpen every day in anticipation for Armageddon?" (A Life Less Ordinary, 1997)

"I've loved you since i was eleven... and the shit won't go away." (Love & Basketball, 2000)

"...no, she's a hoe cause she sends her coochie through the mail." (Love & Basketball, 2000)

"It's a trip, you know. When you're a kid, you see the life you want. It just never crosses your mind that its not going to turn out that way." (Love & Basketball, 2000)

"What I don't understand, is how'd you get the zipper all the way up?" (There's Something About Mary, 1998)

Oh yeah!

I got a response from Suhrid yesterday. That made me happy. It always puts a smile on face to get something from someone from Andover. So, if you're reading this, and I know you from Andover, leave me a comment.

Suhrid was my favorite teacher. He kinda had a cool sense of humor and the fact that was getting married (and had no qualms whatsoever) was endearing. Go, Suhrid. You Rock. Geoff was okay, but he seemed pretty cocky about his whole Yale-Connecticut thing. And he had a horrible sweating thing. I like how he always picked on that fool, Spencer....Vaughn is too reserved to be human. Ben wore a pink shirt. Those are my memories of my teachers. Arissa was super-cool as a counselor.

You know, I miss waking up with a roommate, and eating breakfast with a roommate. I miss sleeping on that twin bed, and those sheets that had some sentimental value to me. I miss walking the long walk from the Commons to Double Brick, and then the long walk back to the library. I miss that damn computer lab. I miss signing my name in that folder every night at 10:00. I miss missing San Jose and talking to my friends and family on the phone like years had passed by. I miss receiving e-mails giving me updates on things are at home. I miss making new friends everyday, on every trip. I miss Andover.

Sorry, I just had to put that. Damn, I done gone all Seventh Heaven now. I can still be gangsta right? fo sho.

A few things about me...

1. I love grapes. In fact, if grapes were a man, I'd marry him so I could have him always. Then I'd eat him.
2. School sucks.
3. I fear staying in this city my whole life.
4. Sometimes I think of the most random things...like this fork. I ate with this fork and it had the four things, but they were like divided into this V-shape thing. Cracks me up, man.
5. I'm a horribly, horribly insecure person. What? I'm not weird...
6. The last entry was a result of what people might call "a bad acid trip." Gotta watch out for that acid, folks. I know that's what those damn seventh heaven kids are on. Darn you, Simon!
7. Oh, I hate Seventh Heaven.

A Comic Approach: My Charlie Brown/Dawson's Creek Fan Fiction

Charlie Brown was the ideal, do-the-right-thing, boy next door. He was neat. He had goals. All three of his hairs were combed perfectly to the side. This kid had dreams. This kid was going somewhere; but he wasn't going alone. There was his dog (or dawg, if you prefer), Snoopy and his homie home-home-homie Linus. He was going to Hollywood, baby. The place where you either make it or you have to be a waitress or a prostitute working for low pay and and balding business men with sad and mediocre lives.

For the past five years of their short existences, he was the mejor amigo of Linus. Yes, Linus was needy. Yes, he carried around his security blanket like he was still a baby. But so what? They were inseparable; a team. They were perfectly matched together, as if God himself could not have hoped for such a likely pair.

One day, as Charlie Brown was outside documenting the sounds that various birds generate, he spied a golden-haired beauty from across the yard. His old Hi8 was addicted to this vision of perfection. I'm sure this is where his mind gets very PG-13. As she approached him with a smile, it escalated towards R.

"Hi, I'm Ren Dinley," she introduces herself.

Speechless, he could not put his Hi8 down. The focus was tightly fixed on her. Oh, how I long to say, "Hi, I'm Charlie Brown. Welcome to Charlie's Creek., he thought.

Snoopy barked.

The trance was broken. He stroked his perfect three hairs away from his forehead. "I'm Charlie Brown. Just move here?"

You idiot.

Before they could continue their awkward conversation, Linus trotted over (with his security blanket). Suddenly, the moment became even more tense. Linus could not withhold his love for Charlie Brown. Now, with the arrival of this blonde homewrecker, their relationship was being threatened.

Will they make it? Will Linus confess his feelings for Charlie Brown? Or will Charlie Brown go out with that blonde chick? If he does will he get her pregnant? Do you think he'll make it in Hollywood? Well, if he doesn't, maybe he should just move somewhere on the outskirts...or maybe Chico...or maybe he can just not do any of this stuff and become a doctor...or a lawyer...yeah, he can be Charlie "Cochran" Brown, baby...yeah....

tryin somethin new here folks, hold on.
nm

Top 5 People I HATE For Not Helping Me In My Life*

5. Mr. Pascual: What a mean, mean man.
4. Pete from Smallville: This kid is like the most annoying, big-headed kid that's ever existed. Well, he's right up there with...
3. Junior from My Wife And Kids: that other annoying, big-headed kid. He's so stupid on that show it makes me wanna cry. I just wanna try to compress his head with my fists to make him seem normal.
2. Ms Daniell: I hate that fuckin bitch. People that fuckin mean and arrogant should not be able to be teachers because they don't help at all. And why would she wanna be a teacher? As retaliation for all those times she was teased in high school? Guess what, you fuckin bitch, you're still being made fun of.
1. I don't know. I guess I'm reserving this spot for someone special.

*I was just thinking about making a list. I bet Santa has a hate list. But, I'm not insane and I'm not going to go out for these people. That's stupid. Damn snipers. I'm way to morally conscious to do such a stupid thing. I have a stomach ache.

I'm Okay, thanks for asking

After thinking about the subject and downloading six Finch songs about breakups, I realize that I'm okay. Here I am, dying over failing a stupid drive test. At least I didn't get my heart broken. At least no one I love died. At least my family is not going through tough times (although, we might almost be there, I think). There are more serious things to be sad about. Being sixteen, driving may the most important thing in the world right now. How about two years from now? How about ten years from now? One day I will have a family (don't laugh, I think I'd make a good mom), and this will look so stupid. It will only serve as a story to tell to my daughter. So, I'm sorry. There are people much wiser; but they are not necessarily wiser because of what they have, maybe they are wiser because of what they lost. I read that somewhere. In a couple days, I will probably be in the same place I was two days ago. I'll probably write about Choke which I read last summer, and I think is worth writing about. But here I sit, listening to the angry punk rock of The Distillers, trying to feel happy. I hope I do good by writing this. I hope you realize what I have realized, and if you're sad, dont' be anymore because there are things much worse.

I wonder if I can get some pictures on this thing.

i failed. i fuckin failed. i fuckin knew it too, but i let myself listen to everyone around me. "you'll do fine." "you're going to pass. why wouldn't you pass?" and i'm angry at everyone who told me those things, because why can't you let me put myself down? and i even prayed. i knew that wouldn't work...i knew it i knew it i knew it. "i'm sorry, vanessa, but you didn't pass...," she said that. and i feel so bad. i feel like a failure. i'm sure people don't take failure very well, but i think i take it ten times horribly. i always feel l ike its symbolic, like i'm never going to pass in anything in my life...so to make sure i wouldn't do anything stupid over something stupid, i fell asleep. that always works. i slept from 10 in the morning to 5 in the afternoon and didn't take the time to do anything today. i know this is how i feel when the rejection letters for college start to pour in and i have to go to San Jose State and don't move out of home until 25 or something. and my hair is all nice and straight too...i'm going to be fuckin depressed the next fuckin week. so be a fuckin friend and leave a fuckin comment would you because i feel like there really is no fuckin reason to keep fuckin writing in here and its just a fuckin waste. speaking of waste, i need to get fuckin wasted..

so...fuckin...tired...so I tried to straighten out The Fro tonight. Not as well as i expected. Under usual circumstances, it can be controlled, its nice and straight and wavy at the ends. However, tonight...let's just say tonight it was straight but it was still it. You know? So now I'm sitting here with my beanie on, flattening it out. Do you think I should wear the beanie to the Driver's Test. Its always nippy in the mornings.

Speaking of nippy, I'm a bit cold. I'm wearing a hoodie, my beanie, sweat pants, and socks. I should be pretty cozy right? But I'm not, damnit! If I had an accent and wasn't so friggin whitewash I'd curse in Ilocano. I'm so culturally-illiterate...

Top Ten: A Recap of the Week

10. Getting caught cheating in chem and having Mrs. Turner wrinkle up my paper and throw it away. Bitch.
9. Taking the PSATs and using all the great stuff I learned at Andover.
8. Getting exposed to The Distillers.
7. Getting reacquainted with The Donnas.
6. The whole Dude Where's My Car? impression.
5. I missed like 6 pieces of homework total this week.
4. Worried about the Driver's test like a bitch.
3. I get what's going in Chem! ::Giddy giggle::
2. Having Mateer give us examples of pick up lines. Rule.
1. She took off her glasses today!

The Drummer

Okay, now that I've mentioned my stupid drummer-guy fantasy, I feel the need to elaborate. Actually, to be perfectly honest, I want to elaborate, because thinking about it just gets me really happy.

Cue the flashback waves (reference: Saved By the Bell. Remember how they always did that? And they always made the corners of the screen blurry.): It all started with a family trip to Vegas. We were waiting at the stupid, pathetic arcade in Treasure Island. My cousins were running around; I was marvelling at the Starbucks, trying my darnest not to give in to the caffeinated temptation. Anyways, I turned my head and there was this cute guy sitting on the bench. He looked like he could've been in an alternative band or a punk band or something (thus the drummer thing. bands are so sexy). His head was shaved, but you could see just these little hairs growing back and he had these dreamy sideburns. This dude was not only cute...I think he set the standard--I want to marry a sexy drummer-man with the sexy sideburns. And let's not forget the intellectuality. That's a must. To summarize, this is how I came up with the whole i-like-drummers thing. That, plus my burning love for punk and emo music. Oh, dear me, this entry was so insignificant...but it made me feel better, that's all that matters.

A Retraction

Sorry to anyone who was offended by my blog last night. But just take the time to imagine my disappointment to hear about something so degrading as a guy talking about women as sex objects. It just got me all disillusioned, and i wasn't happy to begin with last night. I wish I could find some more sad emo songs. If you know any good ones, leave a comment, because I really need these. They're like my pills. Damn Seventh Heaven. I never really understood that title.

Friggin Pigs

Guys are pigs. Maybe not all guys, but from what I've heard, it seems that for most guys, their heads are like a hard porn tape 24/7. And I don't want to be a feminist here. Believe me, the last thing I ever want to be or sound like is sound like feminist because I just don't believe that we're being oppressed by having men breathe. However, I feel so disillusioned; so fucking jaded. I mean, I don't hate the male population (I can't because I love Tom Welling so much), but I'm just disappointed. And I'm not trying to be condescending or rude or man-hating. But, it just ruins that childhood fantasy. It messes up everything the stupid romantic comedies ever represented and most of the female population fell into. It just makes me sad, that's all. It's my fantasy to join a punk band and fall in love with the awesome drummer-sensitive-hot-poet-guy with the dark skin and dreamy sideburns. Call me crazy. I always thought I'd meet someone who's all about debating the philosophies of Ayn Rand or something, or make quips about characters in a book. But it looks like that's never going to happen. People might already know this, I might just be late with everything. Hearing what I've heard, how can I not let go of these perceptions? Really, I'm not trying to hate on guys or say that they're all perverts and only think about getting head and getting laid. Because I'm a writer enough to know that any sentence with the word "all" is already a fallacy. I hope it is. Because this is just making me really sad. I was really looking forward to the intellectual drummer guy...=(

Friggin Cows

Yesterday, as I was routinely opening up my cup-of-noodle package, I saw the craziest, most disturbing thing. A picture of a friggin cow on the lid. Okay, its beef flavor. Okay, beef is cow. Okay, why the fuck do they put a picture of a cow on the package?! Are they repelling customers?! Do they hate me? I find this so agitating...I have half a mind to write a letter to the distributors demanding one good reason why they have a friggin picture of a friggin cow on a package of noodles! That's like watching a chicken get slaughtered while you eat some KFC...those damn sadistic noodle people (no, I'm not referring to the Chinese...). I suspect the damn creators of Seventh Heaven. They're getting all Hindu on us, eh? I thought it was a Christian show!

Things I realized while watching MTV:

1. LL Cool J is cut and hunky
2. What is up with that Mario kid? His nostrils are so fucking big it looks like he can stick his fists in there. And that new song of his? Braid my hair. What the fuck is that? Who sings about braiding hair? Stupid kid.
3. What happened to Carson Daly?
4. Is it just me or is The Real World getting sluttier and sluttier every season...
5. They don't play good music.

call me crazy and babyish, but i love this song

"If I Told You This Was Killing Me, Would You Stop?" by The Juliana Theory
"watch your mouth hold your toungue boy because you're running out of breath running out of time before every careless word that you utter renders you utterly useless now you're drowning in your own saliva trying to speak yourself to the top of your hardcore world well keep on talking just keep on rambling you've got your mouth full now listen here's the pleasant part you and i we fell apart why don't you make up your mind shut your mouth burn your bridges throw your words like an attack stab me in the wait a second what's that i just heard nevermind it's obviously useless now you're standing on your soapbox yelling from the rooftops everything you say is a lie now listen here's the clever one who speaks before his thoughts are done why can't you make up your mind watch your mouth hold your tongue some things are better left unsaid now i hope you're pleased you let your pride stand tall it danced within your words right before your fall why don't you say that to my face if i told you this was killing me would you stop?"

What can i say about emo. It's great. Ever since that first taste freshman year, I've been hooked (and we all know that anyone in my family gets addicted to things like its a tradition). Great stuff. You should check it out. And I will persist to mention this type of music in my future entries because I think they totally rock.

ladies and gentlemen, i've had quite the revelation. i am way to young to have revelations. yes, yes, i know; i'm a brilliant sexy, young lady. i totally agree with you. i think in an effort not to contemplate the stupid shit anymore, i will just concentrate. i'm going to bring those damn grades up and get to a place where i'd want to be. of course! it was in front of me all along! if i want to be happy, all i have to do is shut my mouth and work. stupid me.

check out those sexy links, baby. oh and i edited the title. it was just too freaky the other way. and that doesn't sound right.

Story Time:
Today my sister and I were waiting in the car for my parents to come out of the stinky oriental store so she came up with this brilliant idea to make up 1 minute stories. Here's one by her that I thought was hilarious:

"One day there was this nun who was like, training to be a nun, 'cause she wanted to be a nun, right? So all of her other nun friends were like, 'OH NO, what are we going to do with her?' and then there was this new father guy and he had SEVEN kids! [sounds suspiciously like that friggin Seventh Heaven] and he was getting married with this other woman. And the other nun was like, helping him with his kids. And then he was like, 'You know what, I don't really love her!'- about his fiancee. And then--"

I cut her off with, "My turn!" and proceeded to tell her the story of the haunted rice that talked to me and then I fell in love with it.

I love story time.

I have to make this brief like Hanes.

People sure know how to rock the casbah so early in the morning. We got this Monday party started with me getting got for cheating (although I wasn't the one who was copying, i was getting copied). But that was okay. I really didn't mind. Who cares about chemistry anyways? I mean, I only want to be a chemist. It didn't really disturb me though, surprisingly. So sitting there for that transitory time, I felt like a Nazi; shameful in the eyes of God. Though, I really would reconsider calling Mrs. Turner's eyes those of God's since well, to put it mindly, she's kinda retarded (okay, that's enough. i'm being cruel, i'll stop) ...anyways...so i sat there and i made up a little story:

There once was a duck named Georgio. Georgio was Canadian, so it's perfectly safe if you call him "Georgio the Canuck Duck". Anyways, one day he was flying...

That's as far as I got. She let us do the lab activity, thus stripping us of the shame and giving us forgiveness and making me not feel like a Nazi. Thank you Mrs. Turner for your kindness (what sarcasm!).

Then I get my test back in Calculus. Its a friggin 68 (C). I deserved it; I don't care.

Then as we walk to our last class we hear this two dumbasses behind us--so friggin loud, mind you--and their conversation went like this:

Stupid guy #1: Oh yeah and then he was like "Dude!" (geeky, nasal laugh)
Stupid guy #2: (geeky nasal laugh back)
SG#1: And then he was like "Sweet!" (another goddamn geeky, nasal laugh)
SG#2: (you know what he did)
SG#1: And he was like "Dude, what does it say?"

And blah blah blah, i think you know how it goes. Ah, sweet America! Take a look at your geeky nasal-laughing-youth! And I can't even imagine how sexy they'll be when they grow up.

I added that "Comments" thing so you can leave your comments. And I'm quite sure that I'm really talking to no one and that all of my comment boxes will read "(0)". but just for shits...so if you want to leave a comment just click on the "Comments" link and then fill out the form and Voila! You're a fuckin web genius, my friend.

i forgot to add something. at the end of the mass this dude went up and told the congregation about foster care and adoption. seems that there is a shortage of parents there. my mind fluttered at the idea. if i were old enough, i would have signed up. kids are so cool. one day i wanna have a bunch. maybe tomorrow...joking. there isn't anything more enlightening than having a little baby sleep on your shoulder. there's a little connection. the only time i wouldn't want to raise them is during that whole toddler-hood. they're little punks. do you think i'd be a bad mommy if i shipped them over to my mom's house for a few years until they grew out of the punk phase? oh heck, i'm getting too ahead of myself. gotta find someone to trap first.

my adventure of the holy variety:
today i went to church (wow, two sundays in a row baby! is this the road to heaven?). well, anyways, the best place to go people-watching is church. this is where you see all the heathens, the self-righteously religious, the people who only go for salvation. okay, well maybe today wasn't the best day to go because Father Lim was conducting the mass. uhm...but let's face it--God bless him! don't get me wrong; i totally respect this guy for basing his whole life on faith and that--he's boring. usually, the liturgy is so succint that you can look around and see who's not paying attention. with Father Lim, no one really pays attention in the first place. i have no idea what he said; something about R.S.V.P and God. so kill me! i'm sorry if i can't help falling asleep during his sermon! anyways, where were we? oh yes, the heathens, infidels, and self-righteous. my sister and i were playing thumb war for a brief moment; the guy next to me (who pissed me off because he was basically laying on the friggin bench and wouldn't even scoot his ass over. idiot.) was crossing and uncrossing his leg (i can totally imagine what he was thinking: "Hmm...should i cross left over right? yes---no! Right over left! Nah, left over right and I'll stick my hands in between them."); my dad was reading the weekly newsletter; some kid was looking at the people in the pew behind him; you could literally see other people's heads rolling around because they were about to sleep. ah, how refreshing it is to step into church once a week and feel like you're doing something good in this world! Catholicism is the best! really, it should even have a commercial: "There is no winning in being a Catholic. You'll always be the loser. But hey, one holy day a week? And only for an hour! By God, (yes, i know i am using His name in vain. sorry sorry sorry a million times) this is the life!" like in Dogma. that movie rocks.

wooopty wooo baby! i saw monsoon wedding last night! if there is anything more exhilirating than watching some punjabi fun then you can pull my hair and step on my shoes. no, but seriously, good movie. its always nice to watch some people doin that whole cultural biz. i mean seriously, after this, you might even consider having your parents arrange your marriage. its just all so whimsical. if anyone ever gets the chance, i say check it out. hey, it made my mom laugh. that says it right there, everyone should watch this damn movie.

damn that seventh heaven.

my attack on seventh heaven (contd.):

i'm sorry, i just really cannot stand this show. on this last episode eric camden was going to tell his family that he is going to get surgery. however, he cowardly hesitated and thus, did not tell his family. i think this one is pretty self-explanatory, folks, so i'll just leave it at that. and ladies and gentlemen, this is my attack on seventh heaven. i'll take a bow later. i just did some squats and now i'm really sore =(

i've been a real ass lately, as if there aren't enough in this world. i'm adding to the problem. i'm being who i always hated.

saw sweet home alabama. nice movie. great for the short folk (kids. no, i was not making fun of little people). but for people like me...don't you ever fucking show me that shit if you don't want to end up in a body cast. don't let sad people watch happy movies or else the next time you'll see them is in the newspaper in the obituary section. you're just showing them what they'll never be. and that's the bug that's been up my ass for a week. or maybe its been up there for the past few months. i remember when i came back from the summer, i was so eager. i wanted to come back to my friends and see what was up. and then something happened. school defeats me. and i suck at handling rejection and failure. so i think my way of coping it is the usual, self-destructive, dumbass way. i alienate myself. i don't do anything. i slack off. i download stupid songs. yeah, and i sound so pathetic. there should be a term for this type of behavior. hmm...how about vanessaquistic. sounds nice, eh? good enough. so i'll try to take the bug out of my ass as long as you tell me this is normal.

BREATHING IS SO OVERRATED.

i'm so sick and tired of things. what i hate the most is how slow this is going. if i had a choice, i would have gotten my ass graduated as soon as possible. i don't need all this AP-stress-my-ass-off-for-college-that-i'm-probably-not-getting-into shit. people have dreams. people are taught to pursue dreams. people realize that dreams are figments of hope and not reality. people fail to realize that the more they dream and hope the less likely it is for them to actually achieve. thus, i'm tired of this. i'm tired of thinking all the time. i want to get on to the good stuff; college, being on my own again, maybe even learning to be alone. oh yeah, i still believe what i believe about seventh heaven. sources have just informed me now that big sis is dating older man. scandalous. how coincidental it all is that this priest, whose opinion and teachings are taken in regard by everyone is honing little heathens of his own. tsk tsk. i'm on to you, WB. except don't ever cancel Smallville because Tom Welling is sexy =)