Straighten out

Still sitting here on Veteran's Day, when its almost over. Still downloading punk rock songs. Still want to be punk rock. The title was inspired by this thing in a magazine that my sister bought and she ripped the page out. It is advertising those Frizz-Ease hair products, which probably work but create those shells on your head as well. I've been thinking about things. And doing a lot of reading that book. Its a good book. I like it.

The problem with me, as you will find out, is that I'm an idealist. I hate to fucking admit it, but I hate living in this moment and I can't help but looking forward. When I was nine, I couldn't wait till 12; when I was 12, I could wait till 16; now I'm 16 and I just want to get out of here. I fantasize about living in the city in a flat, alone. I want to be a professional, modern day woman, that wears suits and goes off and does medical research. Or maybe I want to be a writer and stay home all day. Or maybe a bartender, I have alcohol in my blood. I don't know, but whatever it is, I know it is more interesting than what is going on now. I know it is more interesting than US History or Calculus. I don't know.