i failed. i fuckin failed. i fuckin knew it too, but i let myself listen to everyone around me. "you'll do fine." "you're going to pass. why wouldn't you pass?" and i'm angry at everyone who told me those things, because why can't you let me put myself down? and i even prayed. i knew that wouldn't work...i knew it i knew it i knew it. "i'm sorry, vanessa, but you didn't pass...," she said that. and i feel so bad. i feel like a failure. i'm sure people don't take failure very well, but i think i take it ten times horribly. i always feel l ike its symbolic, like i'm never going to pass in anything in my life...so to make sure i wouldn't do anything stupid over something stupid, i fell asleep. that always works. i slept from 10 in the morning to 5 in the afternoon and didn't take the time to do anything today. i know this is how i feel when the rejection letters for college start to pour in and i have to go to San Jose State and don't move out of home until 25 or something. and my hair is all nice and straight too...i'm going to be fuckin depressed the next fuckin week. so be a fuckin friend and leave a fuckin comment would you because i feel like there really is no fuckin reason to keep fuckin writing in here and its just a fuckin waste. speaking of waste, i need to get fuckin wasted..